Think your relationship is rock solid? All may seem well right now, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t signs of trouble ahead.
How do you know if your relationship can weather the storms of life?
There are 15 warning signs you should be aware of and if you heed them, no storm will stand a chance against the two of you together.
Too Good to Be True
In the beginning of almost every relationship, there’s that time period where everything seems perfect. However, if that initial giddiness of a new relationship doesn’t seem to wane, you may want to evaluate things a little deeper.
You both love the same movies and music. You have stimulating conversation and the sex is beyond amazing. You have the same sense of humor, finish each other’s sentences, and both find documentaries utter borefests.
Have you truly found serendipity?
As the tried and true saying goes… if it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
Things may well be fantastic right now, but don’t be fooled into believing in perfection. He is not flawless. Trust me.
A relationship without disagreements could be a sign you that don’t know each other quite as well as you think. Of course being in love is wonderful, but a huge part of the beauty of intimate relationships is found in little imperfections.
Think about it this way: a perfect and flawless diamond can be created in a laboratory. Truly a thing of beauty. However, their value pales in comparison to naturally occurring diamonds. Why? Because of their organic imperfections.
If you’re blinded by the awe of your perfect relationship, you might want to take the time to take a true look at the relationship. Look below the surface for things you may have missed, or don’t want to see.
Is Something Wrong?
Having a partner that is constantly gauging your temperature may be a sign that the relationship has reached a tipping point. This could mean that they feel you are closed off to them, or even that they’re worried that you found out something to be upset about and they’re waiting for the shoe to drop.
Likewise, if your significant other is there but seems to be keeping thoughts and feelings close to their vest, there could well be something wrong.
Finances, daily routines, and overall apathy can quickly sour the sweet taste of love. Before the symptoms tip the relationship in the wrong direction, you may want your next question to be, “Is something wrong with us?”
A Life on Hold
If your significant other seems to have stopped talking about the future or making plans, it could be a sign that they’re starting to check out. The boldness of “living in the moment” and YOLO make great memes and are trendy lifestyle mantras, but they rarely cultivate relationships with substance.
If your partner seems to have life on hold and is ignoring tomorrow, chances are that the end may be near. It’s not that they doubt tomorrow’s arrival, it’s more that they’re just not sure that they want to spend it with you.
Sure, keeping options open makes for a great career path, but it’s never a good strategy for relationships.
We’ve all been there. After receiving an earful from the boss for mistakes that weren’t even yours, having the sky open up and pour down rain on you all the way to the parking lot, and getting stuck in traffic, you come home feeling low and dejected but glad to be home with the one you love and can always count on.
However, if you walk through the door and are greeted with snarky and sarcastic remarks that are completely devoid of empathy, you need to question where the relationship is at.
It’s no time to pull punches either. This is your life together. Ask them what’s up. Find out what’s on their minds. Your home and your relationship are supposed to be sanctuaries, not places for you to feel attacked or ill-at-ease.
Feeling the sting of a brush off? Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate. If your partner makes light of an issue that is serious to your they blow you off when you need to talk most, it could be a telling sign. Indifference to your feelings may suggest that they’re not all-in on the relationship.
Sound of Silence
Everyone gets busy and we don’t always have time to get into deep conversations, but if you’re the only one in the relationship that is attempting to communicate, you could be headed for trouble.
Sure, long discussions get less frequent over time, but they shouldn’t completely disappear. Those long talks can titillate the mind and lubricate the soul. Remember, the primary sex organ in both men and women is the brain and without intimate dialogue, there’s no foreplay.
If your conversations have devolved into cut-to-the-chase-and-get-it-over-with, it’s probably a really good time to try to take the discussions to new levels.
The Good Ol’ Days
Everybody’s mind wanders on occasion, but if you find yourself reveling in the past more often than enjoying the present, it’s probably time for a reality check.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Sure, you had some really good times hanging out with your besties at the clubs, and you have some good memories of your ex, but your ex is an ex for a reason and the clubs, well, more than likely you were there looking for a new romance in the first place.
Reminiscing about your glory days has its place, but if your daydreams have become stamped with, “wish you were here,” it’s quite possible that you feel you shouldn’t be where you are, and the relationship could be in trouble.
Stuck on Repeat
All relationships have issues. However, if you’ve maturely approached your problems, discussed them in-depth and tried varied solutions but nothing changes, it can make the relationship, and life itself, start to feel like a dreaded same-shit-different-day.
If the relationship has become some sort of twisted remake of “Groundhog Day,” chances are pretty good that at least one of you isn’t listening or worse, not trying. Unless your thing is facing a lifetime of do-overs, it may well be time to move on.
Cruising on Auto-Pilot
It’s virtually impossible for a relationship to survive with little or no effort. Of course when you’re sailing on calm seas you may not want to “rock the boat,” but everything in life requires maintenance. Trying to let your relationship coast along without getting your hands a little dirty just isn’t going to cut it.
If you ignore the little things or you’re afraid to see what the check engine light means, it doesn’t mean that your problems will miraculously disappear or don’t exist at all.
Don’t disregard the toll that time takes on a relationship. If your relationship has been on auto-pilot lately, it’s probably time to try and rev things up.
Holding You Back
Have you had to say no to pass up career opportunities in order to pacify your significant other? It should go without saying, but a healthy relationship allows both individuals to flourish.
Excelling at your job isn’t about leaving someone behind, it’s about personal growth. A huge benefit of any relationship should be having someone special to share those special milestones.
If opportunity is knocking and you refuse to answer because of your partner, resentment may be right around the corner.
Sex Has Taken a Back Seat
Neglected shaving your legs and pits for a week or more lately? Have cozy granny panties replaced your sheer lacy thongs?
If you’re no longer motivated to feel, think, or act sexy and playful, chances are pretty good that the romance has cooled off to alarming levels. We all know that over time the constant fire of desire usually wanes, but it should never completely die.
If sex has taken a back seat in the relationship, the question you really need to ask yourself is… “if this relationship is worth lighting a match, or has it already turned to ash?”
Everything about the relationship would be perfect, “if only.”
Happiness is important but if your genuine fulfillment is totally dependent on your significant other changing, then there’s definitely a problem. Differences, frustrations, quirks, and annoying habits are typical in relationships, but your happiness shouldn’t require a complete personality change or a frontal lobotomy for your partner.
Compatibility is either there or it isn’t! No matter how much you wish for it or how much they promise to change, you simply can’t force someone to be something they aren’t.
It may seem like sweet retribution for their annoying transgressions, but ripping your partner apart for every small misdeed rarely has constructive results.
In actuality, it may not even be the petty crimes that are the problem. If you find that you are blowing up over the smallest of things, it could be a sign that your patience has worn thin by caustic indifference.
In many of our relations, we know exactly which buttons to push to rock our partner’s boat. However, if getting your partner off has been reduced to cruise control and a series of mechanical steps, apathy has taken the wheel.
Sex is an intimate act but doesn’t define intimacy. Embraces, caresses, kisses, and even gazing into each other’s eyes make the connection extraordinary. Mechanically going through the motions may get the job done, but it’s merely a form of masturbation when there’s no passion.
Rationalizing your satisfaction with the relationship is a sign that you’re settling. Convincing yourself that it’s not that bad, doesn’t mean that it’s good.
Being afraid to be alone is not a reason… it’s an excuse.
Thinking they’re going to change “this time,” is pure fantasy.
Life is too short for the status quo to be the apex of your relationship. You deserve a life less ordinary.
I you can’t see yourself achieving that with your partner, maybe your status needs to change.
I Saw the Sign
Seeing things that aren’t there and ignoring the signs that are glaringly evident are two of the most corrosive factors to any relationship. It’s always a good idea to look at the relationship with “better glasses.”
Whether motivated by this article or just a gut feeling, take an honest look at your relationship and see it for what it is. Stop making excuses and start making changes.
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