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Ask Yourself

Just Being Real

I am a Recovering Trauma survivor. Many of us are. Some through direct firsthand abuse. Some of us indirectly, as products of generational perpetuated abuse (including abuse surviving). This is the time to heal.

A few questions from me to you. I’ve asked myself some of these. I’ve demanded of myself the rest. These are Questions you should ask yourself, if you can answer them honestly.

Would you believe me if I said I thanked god for you? Whether you believe in god or not, I do and I thank God for you. Is it hard to imagine that I would be grateful to anyone that reads my posts at any given moment?

On my birthday, I was thankful for everyone that told me happy birthday. Can you believe I sent everyone of them a thank you love letter?

Can you believe that you are worthy of kindness? of kind words and acts? Imagine a cashier and being pleasant to the rudest of customers. Imagine the customer being kind to the rudest of cashiers.

Or what if you found yourself accepting people for who they are? what if people accepted you for the you they don’t know? How much weight would that take off? how many expectations would be quelled? How much would stock in dissapoinments drop? What would it feel like if you could go without make up?

What would it feel like to see the results of your faith? If you believe in the power of love, what if you immediately saw the results of the love you give? What if you found out years later the beneficial products of your love changed a life? What if it changed lives of their children and shaped the lives of their grandchildren? Because you don’t see it, is it any less real? If you don’t hear it in the news, did nit not happen?

What if your definition of respect, was only a lesser definition? Would you recognize when someone showed you more respect? What if people only showed the same level of respect that you show? what would the community look like?

How do your feelings affect people? how you interact with people? how do you us those feeling? what do they teach those that learn from you?

Who learns from you? how do they learn from you: through observance? Through lecture? Through requests of advice? what is a responsible teacher? who were yours?

How do your peers differ from you? from the youth? From your subordinates? How do you relate to your supervisors? Or you elders?

How is respect translated between all those relationships?

What do you trust? Do you trust people or trust their habits? Do you trust expectations or history? Do you trust promises?

Do you pray? what is the Why or Why not based in? How are prayers answered? Is it symbolically? Coincidentally? Through signs?

What can you take on when you feel the strongest? Weakest? What fuels you, is it love? is it pride?

Which is a better fuel for forgiveness: love for the other person? Love for self? Where have you forgiven yourself?

Ask yourself , are you thinking clearly enough to honestly answer these questions? The mind is only as clear as the emotions are calm. Defense, shame, pride, and prejudice are a few emotions that prevent clear thinking. They are not calm. Once you are calm and clear you’ll see who you really are. If she is not productive, it is time for change. Are you ready?

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