Be a Force of Fierce

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What is a “Force of Fierce” anyway?

A “Force of Fierce” knows that they have value. It’s not from a lack of fear but from the courage to acknowledge the fear and move forward anyway. So let’s take a look at what being “fierce” means. Oh, and (spoiler alert) it doesn’t mean being cruel or hyper-aggressive.

I don’t expect you to agree with everything I say here. After all, being fierce means different things to different people. That said, tell us what you do to find your fierce. I’d love to know what you think!

Stop Explaining

I’m not suggesting that you never explain. What I’m telling you is that everything you do doesn’t have to be explained endlessly to anyone who will listen. When you go out to dinner and splurge on a big meal and dessert, you don’t have to tell the waitress how good you’ve been and how much you deserve a treat for a change.

Most people are not interested in the meaning behind everything that you do and, really, explaining it just calls more attention to the situation. Too much explanation can be seen as a sign of weakness.

Consider that maybe you feel compelled to explain because you don’t understand the reason you do things yourself.

While it may seem that understanding your motivations is a good thing, it can backfire on you as well. Stop to think too long about simple things can result in missing out on positive experiences and relationships. Bottom line? Think of the last time you had a crush on someone. Spend too much time thinking about it and you could miss out on what might have been a relationship with the one, the person you’ve been looking for.

So the next time that little voice in your head says, “Why in the world would you do that?

Simply reply, “Because I want to.

Then let it go at that.

Stop Apologizing

Research has shown that women apologize too much. I’ve heard it myself way too often. “What are you apologizing for?” or “You apologize too much.”

Women have a tendency to apologize profusely, even when they’ve done nothing wrong. This tendency is dangerous. Unnecessary apologies weaken you, make you less fierce. In effect, you are saying that you were wrong and you’re sorry. If you’ve done nothing wrong, what are you sorry about?

I’ve spent a good deal of my life apologizing. I think that, in the back of my mind, I felt apologizing would keep people from getting angry at me. Amazing how long it took me to realize that most people find the apologies more annoying than if I supported my behavior and apologized only when I was actually in the wrong.

Stop Worrying What People Think

This idea follows on what I’ve said so far.

You don’t really know what people think about you unless they tell you and, even then, it’s not one hundred percent certain. Do you judge others as harshly as you believe that they will judge you? If so, maybe you need to think about that.

What I’m trying to say is that the less time you spend judging others, the less you will worry about those same judgements being applied to you. This is one of those things you have to give to get. But it’s well worth the effort. If you stop to worry about what others think all the time, you will project an image of timidity rather than being fierce. And, face it, our best, most fierce self is who we want to be.

Oh, and just one more thing on this subject. Worrying about how others will judge you just gives them power over you. Do you really want others to draw those imaginary lines that confine you? And speaking of judging…

Don’t Measure Yourself by Others’ Standard of Beauty

When you look at yourself in the mirror, what do you see?

Do you judge yourself in comparison to women who are viewed as gorgeous and sexy? Or, do you remind yourself that beauty is more than just the physical aspects of you? The old cliche that beauty is more than skin deep has some truth to it. The person you are on the inside goes a long way to define your beauty. If you treat others with respect and kindness, it goes a long way to make you appear more attractive to the people around you.

Most of us go through a period in their lives where we question ourselves, asking, “Am I pretty?” The trouble is, there is way more than one set of standards that define beauty. We all want to be beautiful or handsome and we all have our own definition of what that means.

Stop wasting time trying to make yourself into something you are not. Focus on who you are and ensure that you externalize the things about you that make you the beautiful Force of Fierce that you are.

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Irene P. Smith
Irene P. Smith

Irene is a hybrid Technical Writer/Programmer with over 30 years' experience. She was a Contributing Editor to PC Techniques Magazine and also wrote for such magazines as CodeWorks and PC Hands On. Irene lives in New York State about two hours Northwest of New York City, on a quiet street with her husband, her son, and her mother.

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