Confession: I Was A 28 Year Old Virgin

Through my formative years in high school I was afraid of my sexuality and of anyone seeing me nude. I was overweight and had been told all my life “you have a pretty face.” So that meant the rest of me wasn’t pretty. This wasn’t during the times when big was beautiful, in fact, it was the opposite. I was made fun of and given a hard time because of my weight. There was no campaign against “body shaming” going on. I was petrified to change in gym class and getting in the shower was not happening. I didn’t get undressed in front of friends, or walk around in my bathing suit. I felt ashamed.

While everyone was dating and experimenting with sex as a teen and young adult, I was running from it. I had no idea how to flirt, or be flirted with. If I liked a guy, he was my friend and nothing else. This continued until I was in my late 20’s. Twenty-eight to be exact. There were no beautiful moments, or breakfast in bed. We both were drunk and I lied to him about why I bled. I told him that I must have started my period. I couldn’t let him know that I was a virgin. No one could know.

I was glad it was over with. Now I could finally join the ranks of everyone else. The fears and shame eventually went away and I began to have a normal sex life in my 30’s, but it was such a traumatizing thing that I don’t talk about it much. I’m a happily married woman now.