My story is not one of abuse, sexual assault, poverty or any of the horrible things you might imagine. I come from a loving home with brothers and sisters that get along. I’m a Kleptomaniac and it gives me control of something in my life. When everything feels out of control, I have something I can do that is purely in my control. I can steal. This is my biggest secret, and my biggest shame.
I started taking things at a very young age. I can remember the feeling of a rush coming over my body. The fear and anxiety turns into a feeling of winning something. It’s a pure drug. Adrenaline and euphoria overwhelmed me and I was hooked. I was a good girl… with a bad secret.
No police record, although I have been caught. The one time I was caught was when I was in my 20’s and I had just shoplifted some clothes from a department store. A young, handsome man followed me out and confronted me at my car. He was intrigued as to why I felt I had to steal those things. I explained to him that I didn’t know why, I just needed to be bad every once in a while. We ended up having lunch together, and then I took him home. Such secrets for a good girl.
I haven’t stolen anything in a few years now, but I think about it. It gives me a sense of closure when I’m having a bad day. It calls to me like a drug. I know all the easiest stores to hit. What type of items don’t have sensors for alarms. How to look innocent and what aisles have cameras. I’m good at it, which makes it harder to quit. I don’t see an end.
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