I’m struggling today! Woke up “not feeling it” and really wanting to do nothing other than go back to bed and maybe binge on some reading or catch up on some shows… and even that didn’t feel appealing.
This is when you know, deep down in your bones that it’s going to be one of those days.
You know what I’m talking about, right?
Nothing feels good. Nothing tastes good. I am definitely NOT motivated to do much of anything. Activities that often make me feel good suddenly don’t and I’m scrambling around looking for the reset button to kick-start my day.
I have no idea if this is hormonal, seasonal, or just “waking up on the wrong side of the bed” and I want nothing more than to slough off and do NO THING.
As I’ve mentioned earlier, I’m “not feeling it” today so today’s battle is against myself. UGH. I hate when that happens. As I was stretching and scratching from a fairly decent night’s sleep, I must have bemoaned my blasé aloud because I was debating whether or not to go for my daily walk/jog.
Nope. Not feeling it.
I wasn’t convinced about whether or not I was going to exercise. MEH. I shuffled to the bathroom to pee and wash up with the idea that I would just grab a cup of coffee and start my work day. When I came out of the bathroom, I saw my sneakers in plain view on the couch. That was my husband’s way of saying, “Don’t be a jerk and ruin your progress,” without saying it out loud because he doesn’t want “the look.”
When I’m feeling disconnected like this, I try very hard not to take it out on anyone, especially my husband. He knows how hard I’ve been trying to get back into shape. He’s my most ardent fan and supporter of things. I wasn’t about to bite his head off for holding me accountable. My poor husband suffers with my quirks but that’s love, baby… or maybe a little foolishness.
FINE, I’ll exercise – but I’m not feeling it.
Maybe I’ll cut it short today. Instead of 1.5 miles I’ll only do one. By the time I got to the park I was like, “Still not feeling it but fek it. Do it anyway.”
When I got home, I didn’t feel like showering. I did it anyway.
I didn’t feel like recording my morning show. I did it anyway.
I don’t feel like doing much of anything today! As I sit here and type, that stupid downer voice is telling me it’s crap and I’m not feeling it. That stupid downer voice needs a name…
I’m going to call her Fartknocker. Don’t ask me why. It’s frikken funny and something my husband calls me when I’m being a dork.
Anywhoo… Today is going to be a struggle, not because I’m feeling particularly depressed or tired or… or anything. I’m just NOT FEELING IT.
Fartknocker and I are going to have a battle of wills today. If I’m going to fight myself for every thing today then I’ve got to change my plan of action. I need to pivot away from the bigger goals and put some laser focus on the small, achievable goals.
I can do that. I’m doing it. And at the end of the day, I’m not going to feel bad because Fartknocker is going to lose.
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