Sometimes in this confusing world of pandemic and loss of job security we tend to focus on the negative. Feeling profound confusion, and being lost while desperately reaching for direction are typical situations we can face. Finding your voice, passion, and direction can be far out of reach. This is where I found myself recently. I had lost my way and my internal guide wasn’t helping me anymore.
I began to feel depressed, desperate for change and upset with my life in general. I had just moved with my husband to take care of my mother with Alzheimer’s. Everything had changed for us and we began to argue and pick at each other. I wasn’t happy. He wasn’t happy. I struggled with feeling drained and dealing with a person with short-term memory loss can be difficult. I began thinking “why am I here?” Even with this unsettling thought, I managed to keep plowing along.
It wasn’t until one day when I woke up and decided to make a change. A change of perception. I’m a newlywed for God’s sake. Why do I feel the way I feel and what can I do to feel better? Hit with a dose of revelation and hope, I knew a drastic change was officially necessary.
I needed a reset button for my own life. I needed a moment to stop and get myself out of this big pit of misguided directions that I swerved into while semi-unconscious. I am not going to lie, a big portion of me wanted to buy the first ticket out of the United States where my phone and email would be shut off. But let’s face it, I hardly have the funds for it, and secondly it wouldn’t solve much when I decided to return to the mess at hand. So what do you do when you need to push that reset button?
Three simple things:
- Find a quiet safe space to fully relax. This might be your room where you feel safe and pampered. It might be a favorite room in a library. It could be a yoga class. Whatever will suffice for a restful place, where you can clearly hear that quiet inner voice. For me, the bathtub is really serene. I love closing the door on life for a moment to clear my head. Take a few deep breaths in and let go.
- Write out what it is that makes you excited and feel alive. I create a gratitude list; things that make me feel I deserve to be happy.. I find after tapping into that calming internal voice, I am more capable of really feeling what makes me excited and passionate. Writing it down helps me overcome any blocks I might have. It also helps me to implement steps to accomplishing these dreams.
- Slow and easy wins the race. When life gets too ridiculous, sometimes it is appropriate to throw your hands up and say “fuck it”. When I get to this level of overwhelming stress, I have to go back to the basics. Meaning, letting go of any “obligations” that are not mandatory. Racing around like a maniac, making myself even more worn out and confused will only add to the final spin-out and an impending psychiatric stay. By slowing down and handing off responsibilities, I am able to make better, more practical decisions. Better decision-making equates to a quick movement in the right direction. And the rest will take care of itself.
I have to remember this is my life, and I have people that love and depend on me. It is not my responsibility to make other people happy, but it is my business how I treat and react. Same goes for you! The most important person in your life is YOU, so make sure you are doing what makes you excited to wake up each day! Get grateful and see what changes in your attitude. Set that reset button!
Image credit: PXHere