No one is perfect. But here’s a news flash for you, nobody is
We are only human, and being human means having weaknesses. Some are more obvious than others. There is that one major flaw in our personalities that we must identify and conquer. Can we grow stronger than it? I think we can.
Her are some common fatal flaws. We may never completely rid ourselves of this character defect, but we surely can grow and keep a good grasp on it. It’s a part of who we are, but we can learn to handle it.
Your Fatal Flaw
1. Giving Away Our Kindness
Yes, I said kindness. Not just normal and gentile acts, but trusting too easily and giving away yourself. Kindness can be a fatal flaw. There is such a thing as too much kindness.
We all have that friend who always falls for complete jerks even though everyone around her can see that he’s not good for her, but still she stays with him. Why? Because she is codependant with her kindness. She is kind to a degree where she needs to fix people.
Some of us tend to surround ourselves with “broken” people. Those friends or significant others that can be depressed or suicidal, negative, or an abusive junkie. People that take and take and never give.
The overly kind person will put everything she has, all her time and money in making these persons whole again. This is a noble cause, but in too many cases trying to pull someone up will likely pull us down first. You can never fix anyone, it’s an inside job.
Some of us do not know how to put ourselves first. If you are constantly sad and miserable, if you are exhausted and depressed, if you feel exploited or abused; you have to cut the person who is the cause of all of this out of your life. This will be very hard. But the only person you are truly responsible for is yourself. Get them professional help, talk to their families and then slowly back out of the relationship.
This idiot you were once dating cheated on you? Well, that sucks. But you can’t let every relationship after suffer because your ex was a jerk. You might think that now you’ve seen the true face of men and that you better protect yourself by expecting of every single future partner that he, too, will betray you sooner or later. Then every time he acknowledges another woman, you prove yourself right.
The road to relationship hell is paved with jealousy. If you are overly jealous, you will end up controlling and suffocation your partner. He will be miserable and likely leave the relationship, or worse, act out on your fears and cheat. Jealousy is a proven way to ruin a perfectly good relationship.
If you find yourself the overly jealous type, you have to take a deep breath and chill. Go and meet his female friends. Talk with your partner about your fears. Believe him when he says that he loves you and that he would never betray you. Yes, people lie, but if we expect everyone to lie all the time, the world would be a pretty awful place.
All relationships are built on trust and without trust you have nothing. If you continue with your mad jealousy, you will lose him. So decide if you love him more than your negative view of men and if so, put all your efforts into trusting him.
In today’s western world without daily fights for survival, anger is one of the most useless emotions. It does nothing to better a situation. Unfortunately it’s also one of the hardest emotions to control. Anger can rise up out of fear and resentment. It causes health problems by the useless stress it holds. Breaking things, punching walls, and screaming irrationally can keep you isolated and alone.
If you realize that anger is your fatal flaw, congratulations! You have already mastered the first step of getting better. You now realize that all these reactions are out of control. The next step is to build yourself an anger-kit. This kit can include a stress ball, a pillow you can scream into, your favorite book or a journal – anything that helps you to let your anger out in a mild way and take your mind off the thing which made you angry in the first place. So, the next time when anger threatens to eat you up, get out your anger-kit, punch your pillow and go write about your feelings.
Youb are in a constant state of fear. Anxiety abounds. All your friends are leaving for a skiing weekend, but you’re afraid to break a leg? You can’t open up to a new romance because you fear losing him? If one of these sentences sound like your thoughts, then your fatal flaw is fear, just like me.
There are ways to conquer your fear. First you have to list your fears, and decide if they are rational or not. Where they came from, and if you can forgive yourself or others involved in creating them. Compared to a car crash how probable is it really that your plane will crash? (Hint: not very.)
Every now and then, try something which frightens you. Get out of your comfort zone. You don’t have to try your biggest fear at once. If you’re afraid of heights, you should probably not start with skydiving. (But you can if you wish, try a hard but quick lesson. Because after you’ve survived skydiving, really what is there left to be afraid of?) In most cases it’s easier to start with something small. Everyone starts small.
Sadness is an evil thing that slowly but thoroughly destroys all motivation and joy you once had. If you often feel down and don’t do something you were looking forward to, or if you sometimes randomly get a feeling of pointlessness, then sadness is your fatal flaw.
If sadness becomes your most frequent emotion and keeps you from doing anything with your life, up to the point where you stop leaving your couch, then you might be in danger. This state of sadness is called depression and if you don’t fight against it, it can ruin your life.
One thing that helps people who are constantly sad and unmotivated is to make detailed plans of what they are going to do on every day of the week, but don’t overfill them. Sometimes if you get out of bed and have a shower, this is already a huge achievement. Each day put a few things on your list, like shop for groceries, call your mother, read a report, go get ice cream or shave. With a short to-do list it is easier for you to get up and actually do things. Afterwards you will feel proud of your achievement, no matter how little it may be.
If you find sadness to take all control, talk with a friend or a family member and make an appointment with a therapist/psychiatrist. Sometimes depression is something physical, which is caused by a lack of a certain hormone, sometimes it comes from a traumatic experience you might not even remember.
Whatever your flaw may be, it doesnt have to control your life. It’s always a good idea to take an inventory of yourself and decide how to better your life. These character flaws are things everyone struggles with. Be kind to yourself and give yourself a break every once in a while. Love can conquer all things. Remember to practice self love.
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