Why I’ll Never Regret Being a Slut

Dont regret being a slut

Hoe. Whore. Easy. Loose. Fun. Slut. These are all names that I’ve been called by those that feel they’re justified in labeling me for living the life how I wanted. I’m not going to lie, having someone call me a slut behind my back didn’t exactly make my day but in the end, what they thought didn’t matter. Because they were wrong.

Not only am I much more than one of those simplistic, degrading and sexist words, but living my life by my personal set of rules actually worked to my benefit. So, to those who put me down with self-righteous judgement, the joke’s on you. Because this “hoe” is one happy woman who, on a good day, has her shit together, and I have my carefree days of casually hook ups, sleeping around, and being a “slut puppy” to thank for that.

I’ll Never Regret Being a Slut

Okay, let me explain.

For my entire time in college, I was single. However, in all honesty that helped me figure my shit out. How? Well, because I wasn’t distracted by time commitment, emotional efforts, and the responsibilities that inherently come with a serious relationship. While many others are able to juggle all of that along with school and learning who they really are as an individual, that just wasn’t for me. I spent those years focusing on myself, and I really think it was worth it. It gave me the opportunity to learn how to take care of me, how to be comfortable in my own skin, and how to tolerate life when it’s just me, myself and I.

However, since I am in fact a human, I still had basic needs (hint: I’m talking about sex). That meant that I spent a lot of weekends going out and many times I’d meet someone new, get to know them a little it better, and then finish the night out with a good old romp in the hay. Sometimes, I’d never see them again while with others we’d text every so often and set up another “play date.” Sometimes, we became friends and occasionally I’d end up in a “casual relationship,” which basically meant hanging out fairly consistently and hittin’ up the bone zone, but remaining uncommitted as far as exclusivity was concerned.

This was perfect, because it meant there was no pressure to constantly hang out. We’d meet up when we both felt like it and no one was getting bent out of shape over not spending enough time together. I got to continue concentrating on what mattered, while also having a cool friend who could help me “take care of business.” Not a bad deal at all.

Alone Doesn’t Have to Mean Lonely

In short, just because you’re not in a committed relationship doesn’t mean you have to be lonely, sitting at home listening to Billie Eilish and crying over a bowl of Ben & Jerry’s. It means that you get to spend some good old-fashion quality, and in my opinion necessary, time to yourself. This gives youth opportunity to discover things that you can accomplish on your own. You get explore, mature, and find those things in life that excite you. And, no matter what anyone tries to tell you, you get to have consensual sex with whomever you please. Of course you still have to spend every Thanksgiving break explaining to your family, “Yes, I’m still single,” but I think you’ll find that it’s worth it.

After all of those years of being single, I’m in a very happy and loving marriage. I’m not saying that should be your overall goal, but I will say that I truly believe that spending those years the way I did allowed me to be a full partner in a mature, healthy relationship today.

Those years taught me to value my independence, which is something I really think benefits my marriage. I never expect my husband to do everything for me. In fact, I don’t want him to and I encourage him to make time for himself and his personal needs. I’m not saying I’m the perfect wife, I’m definitely not. However, I do think that I’m a pretty damn good one and I truly believe a lot of that comes from me being secure with myself. My Hoe/Whore/Easy/Loose/Fun/Slut self.

Be yourself, and to hell with the haters.

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