It’s Okay to Admit that You Enjoy Sex
Yes ladies, it is indeed.
I enjoy sex.
Though I may have a couple extra pounds hanging on here and there, I’m extremely comfortable with my body and goes what… getting older hasn’t changed that one bit. I have very few hang ups and I really don’t understand outdated and prudish tendencies that so many hold onto these days. I embrace my sexuality. And you should too.
Sex is a part of life. It allows consenting parties to express feelings for one another and helps strengthen closeness in our relationships. So when the ’50 Shades of Grey’ book craze took over and women all over the world were going nuts over it, I was a bit confused. Why was role play, bondage, self-exploration, and loosened inhibitions still so damn taboo?
Okay, I do understand that the fun the characters in the story explored are not going to be appealing to all, but could there really be that many couples out there that never even discussed those things, let alone tried some of them out??
No role playing on a Saturday night?
No battery powered toys?
No exploration of personal fantasies?
Nothing but traditional sex?
Oh c’mon now. That simply can’t be true.
In the U.S., talking freely about sex is pretty much a cultural taboo.
Especially if you’re a woman.
Why?
Virtually every adult knows that intimacy is a very important part of any healthy relationship and sexual exploration should be just as important and enjoyable for women as it is for men. Owning your sexuality and being comfortable in your own skin is healthy. Knowing what excites and pleases you is NOT selfish nor is it “taboo.”
Furthermore, enjoying a healthy sex life doesn’t stop after that newlywed first year of the relationship. As the relation ages and time slips by ever faster, you have to continue exploring and make a conscience effort to try new things together in order to stay interested in each other and strengthen that connection.
There should be absolutely no shame in enjoying sex: the holding, touching, kissing and loving can be some of the closest moments between two people who enjoy one another’s company. As a woman, saying that you actually enjoy sex is NOT a bad thing.
For far too long now, women that enjoy sex have felt that it was something to hide and be ashamed of.
Why?
Sex is a natural part of life. Okay, I have to admit that I never read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ or its sequels. Nor do I intend on ever reading them. For me, those so-called “steamy” romance novels lost their appeal right around the time I actually became sexually active. I wanted DO those things, not read about them even more. I figured it was better to share my fantasies and come up with my own steamy scenarios instead of simply reading about someone else’s.
But, once that initial exploration phase of the first year or so passes, how can we keep our relationships going strong? How do we make the time to stay close? Is there anything we can do to keep the spark alive after having kids?
Luckily, there are numerous ways to achieve those goals, and I want to share a few of them today:
Communication
Talk.
This is first and foremost because without communication, the relationship will crumble over time. As the relationship progresses and time passes, many couples forget that connection is not just physical.
Men — we NEED those conversations. Women require a bit more then just penetration and believe it or not, there are times when words can be better than the actual act.
Women — our men sometimes forget to stay on top of their game… so take the time to remind them. Trust me, if you’re not reminding them, they’ll think they’re doing just fine and things will quickly grow even more stale. Let them know that they have to do those things they did to win you over in the first place.
Then, make sure you hold BOTH of you accountable for keeping the relationship fresh.
Exploration
If it sounds fun, do it.
If it is fun, do it again.
You have to take the time to get to know your body, learn what really pleases you, and be comfortable in your own skin. And yes ladies and gentlemen, it’s more than okay to masturbate at your age. Watch movies, buy toys, try different adult-themed games, or read how-to books.
Create a safe, loving space where you both can surrender and fully enjoy the moment. Be honest, share your fantasies, and maybe even try role playing. I’m not saying you should hang from the ceiling or join a BDSM club, but think outside the box.
But hey, if ceiling suspension or that club sounds like fun, go for it!
Date
Go out together. Once we settle into the daily routine of relationship life, especially once we have kids, some couples slack off and forget their partners. It’s an easy trap to fall into, especially first time parents because they almost always put the kids first all the time. That’s not the way to go.
If you want to have a lasting relationship, you have to maintain that connection. The kiddo will eventually grow up and leave the nest and if you haven’t maintained that connection, then what? You’ll be left with an empty nest and probably a good dose of resentment.
Make time at least once every other week for some “adult” time. Dinner, a movie, a hike or walk in the park, a show, or even just a drive out to the lake for a picnic. If it’s impossible to get alone time at home for whatever reason, go to a hotel/motel. Think of something new and enjoy just being together.
It’s a 50/50 endeavor.
Lastly… women, it is indeed okay to enjoy sex. Own it and be proud.
Image Credit: PxHere