Twitter Relationship Mistakes

Relationship Mistakes: 5 Sure Ways to Tweet Yourself Single

Relationship mistakes happen.

These days, social media is a huge part of so many of our lives. Most everyone we know is connected and of course we all love to share, well… everything. But how much sharing of our lives is too much? Are there certain parts that should be kept untouchable?

You bet!

Everyone makes relationships mistakes and romance can be tricky enough without adding in unnecessary stress due to Twitter and other social media. However, chances are pretty good that you know someone that is guilty of at least one of the relationship faux pas I want to discuss today.

Don't Tweet Yourself Single
Image source: PxHere

Before we get to the list of sure-fire relationship enders, let’s take a look at some of the relationship crap we tend to see come across our feeds.

Lovers & Haters

You probably have at least that one friend whose every relationship issue is posted on social media in real-time. They get mad, tell everyone what’s wrong this time, and within minutes their relationship status has been changed to single and they’re headed out on the town looking for some “fun” — WOOT!

However, it almost never fails that the next day that same friend that said she was “single and ready to mingle” has abruptly taken him back and their love is stronger than ever. If anyone dares to call her on her shit, she posts things like, “it’s none of your business anyway, we’re in love.”

Really now?

If it’s no one’s business, why the hell were you blowing up our timeline last night?

We’re not psychic, you’re the one that put your business out there.

I Love You More

Then there’s the lovebirds. This is the couple that posts approximately every 30-seconds about how much they absolutely adore one another. This happens day in and day out, over and over and over again until you just want to puke.


We know you are in the same damn room!

Turn around and freaking tell him you love him. The rest of us do not care! Seriously! We really, really don’t care. Tell HIM, not us.

Then, you’ll never have to worry about one of you making the unforgivable mistake of missing a “no, I love YOU more” message and thereby wrecking the whole relationship.

Sneaky Tweeters

Next up on our relationship mistakes list is our little media whores who, while in real life they may be faithful, when it comes to their online lives, they’re anything but. Fake social media accounts, direct messaging apps; for them it’s anything goes in virtual reality.

Now, you might think that it’s okay to have a Twitter crush or to be communicating with an ex-boyfriend via Facebook. You don’t actually intend to do anything, you’re just talking, so there’s no harm, right?

No! There is no reason, EVER, for someone in a committed relationship to be flirting online, sending sexy pics, or ANY of that stuff that you know in your heart is wrong.

Come on now, would your significant other be hurt if they found out? Yeah? Then what the hell are you thinking?


They Said I Do, But They Don’t

I’d be remiss if I omitted the “happily” married woman that lets everyone know every damn time hubby didn’t take the trash out or spent too much time out with his friends or playing video games. It would be just too stupid to privately address these issues with him. It’s much better to call him out publicly so the problem can be resolved by your friend’s outraged comments and likes.

Face it, social media is a part of our lives, but our every kiss and tiff doesn’t need to be. Relationships are not a game that is won or lost by the number of likes or retweets. It’s no one’s business and frankly, most us do not care!

It’s like watching the same train wreck day in and day out. At best, we shake our heads and mourn your stupidity. At worst, we block your stupid ass because we’re tired of seeing every detail of your screwed up relationship.

As I said in the beginning, everyone makes relationship mistakes. However, the wrong mistakes can lead to disaster.

5 Ways to Tweet Yourself Single

  1. Sex life tweets, ie “Pretty sure I’m not getting laid tonight” when you’re married is a damn good way to ensure that you’re not. Stop tweeting about your sex life, or lack thereof!
  2. Tweeting during sex. I know from personal experience that social media has invaded our bedrooms. However, playing online poker while playing real-life “poke-her” is NOT COOL guys, even if you’re just “trying to last longer.”
  3. Tweeting while cheating. Once your transgressions come to light, which they almost always do, those naughty DM’s may not be so secret anymore. Then what, ya cheating asshole?
  4. Desperation tweets. It’s over. There’s really no need to tell us all how over it you are; we don’t believe you anyway.
  5. Mean tweets about your significant other is a huge relationship mistake. All joking aside, insults are insults and aren’t funny. Sarcasm and personal “inside” jokes don’t generally translate well on social media and if you’re a bitch in real life, it’s probably going to come across even worse on Twitter. So, you might watch that big fat mouth of yours before you end up with two sets of feet in it.

Remember, keep your sex life private, guys just take the damn trash out already, and we know you love him, so shut up about it!

I think if we can keep the above guidelines in mind, relationship mistakes will cease to exist, love will flourish, couples will have more sex, online Romeos will be more attentive to their real life crushes, pigs will fly, and the sun will always shine.

Okay, maybe not. But hopefully you learned a little something today.

How about you? Ever posted something on social media about your relationship that you ended up regretting?

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