Romance is a complicated concept to grasp for a lot of guys out there. Beyond the apparent gestures like bouquets and throwing rocks at windows, it’s not always easy for guys to decipher what their girl finds romantic. It’s no secret that men are visual creatures, so here is our attempt to paint the picture of romance and how you can teach your man what true romance means to you.
Let Go of Mind-Reading Expectations
Romance is often viewed as the ability to decode subtle hints perfectly, but this is not realistic. What science tells us about how men and women communicate is that men are more literal and women are more figurative. In other words, tell your guy what you find romantic. Unless you’re dating a mind reader, you’re going to need to bite the bullet on this one. Although you should be straightforward in telling your guy what a woman needs, you don’t have to spill all your fantasies. Give your guy some general ideas so that you can still feel surprised by the creativity your guy comes up in the attempt to impress you.
Give Him Clues in Passing
The next time you and your guy are hanging out, mention some of the things that you find romantic in casual conversation. Let these things pop up organically in conversation, so you don’t sound forced. For example, let’s say your guy mentions that he wants to go on a hike soon. You can say something like, “Yeah, I wish we lived near trails that overlook the ocean. I think being by the water is so romantic.” Romance and water might not mix for you, so be sure to voice your ideas as they fit into your natural conversations. Assuming your guy is a good listener (hey, a girl can hope), he’ll remember what you say for future dates.
Set The Initiative
Understand that you guy might not catch on to all of your hints and suggestions to spark a little romance. To help move things along:
- Set the initiative and do something romantic for him first.
- If you like writing love letters or poetry, write something special for your special someone, and see if they return the gesture.
- Consider the things that make you feel romantic and the things that your partner would find romantic too.
Remember that a relationship is a constant give and take, so working together to see what feels romantic for both of you is the best way to get the connection you are looking to create with him.
Pay Attention To His Efforts
You might not get your fairytale romantic gesture, but if you focus on that, you might miss all the other ways your guy shows his romantic side. You might even find their efforts charming, even when they’re far from something you’d like. If your guy buys you the ugliest bracelet you’ve ever seen, you might still totally adore it because of how clear it was that he tried to find something you’d like. It’s the thought that counts, so put your efforts into understanding your partner and notice his attempts to make you feel that romance!
The Bottom Line
While you shouldn’t settle for less than you deserve, be open to the ways that your guy shows his romantic side. Don’t expect him to read your mind, be both frank and subtle to let him know what you’re into, and do your part to get the ball rolling. Romance is part of a partnership, and it will take both of you to set that spark on fire.