The past several weeks, I’ve been in a really good place for the first time in years. I decided it might be a good idea to write myself a list of the things that keep me here, where I need to be. When I get lost in my depression I have a huge tendency to just neglect who I am when I’m happy. It serves as a reminder should find myself spiraling down again.
The memo to myself is a rather simple list of reminders, characteristics, attributes, and needs. I keep it in my desk, so I can glance over it daily if need be. It may not be everything and somethings I still need to work on.
It seemed eyerollingly petty at first or even childish, but now it really does seem to be helping me already. So here’s some of my list just to give it a feel.
Remember, it’s okay to be more than just a wife and be more than just a mother.
I need to write.
Just let it out whether it makes sense or not I can pick it apart later.
I need to read.
I need to daydream.
I need to stick closest to the friends that get me.
When I say I’m going to do something, I get it done.
I have a dark sense of humor.
It’s okay to say no.
It’s okay to say what I want.
I need to be self assuring.
I care deeply.
Don’t worry about other people’s opinions. If it keeps me happy and isn’t hurting anyone do it.
I need to have a stronger voice, speak up, and be heard.
I would recommend anyone who has a similar struggle try it. Maybe try it in letter form if a list doesn’t appeal to you – or jot down a simple message on a post it note. As women we tend to place everyone else’s needs above our own losing our own identities. While this martyrdom is so often admired and praised, in my personal experience, it only set me in a place where I was failing to thrive.
If we can’t save ourselves what good are we to anyone else?
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